the sweater that got away...
I love sweaters so extremely much. They are so soft and cozy and just make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. They are literally 75% of the reason why I would want to live on the east coast or anywhere it gets super cold. Whenever I bust out my favorite sweaters here, I get sweaty. It is January. It was 93 degrees 4 days ago.
So a few months ago, I went thrift shopping at the Salvation Army in Poway. I found these 2 gorgeous sweaters. One was blue and the other was green, and they were both the same beautiful fair isle cardigan design. OMG THEY WERE FREAKING BEAUTIFUL. They were 100% wool and hand knit from the Copenhagen Sweater market in Denmark. I would love to go there one day; it would be sweater heaven (also very $ WHICH IS WHY I SHOULD'VE BOUGHT THAT SWEATER!!!). As a knitter and crocheter, I know how much time and love goes into making a sweater, which is why it being handmade makes it 1000 times more special.
So, my mom said I could get both, but I felt bad using all of her money (even though they were only $7 each!!! Lord I'm stupid. I could've just payed for it myself). I decided I would only get the blue one because I thought the green would be better suited for someone with pale skin. I WAS WRONG. I am still thinking about this damn sweater 4 months later.
The beautiful blue sweater. Now imagine it is green. Gorgeous right?
I now have the blue one, but as I came to realize, I have 6 blue sweaters (one I am still knitting), which is getting excessive. I have no green sweaters. Do you know how lovely that green cardigan would have been? Magical.
This is my vision for it:
I'm in a magical forest, where evergreen trees reach towards the misty sky. The smell of cool fog spreads through the fresh morning air. I'm frolicking, with what feels like the subtle mystical presence of fairies. (The fairies live in tiny trees or red and white spotted toadstools, and they wear dresses made of upside-down flowers.) My hair is down, flowing, and wavy. Some strands are in little braids. I'm wearing a white dress and black knee-high rain boots. And snuggly wrapped around me is the green cardigan.
Now you might be wondering:
Doesn't this vision work with the blue cardigan?
No.
Just No.
On the right is the watercoloring I did. :'(
It's not quite as magical as my vision AT ALL.
Wasn't that just the most peaceful and beautiful vision ever?
(sorry if it was ruined by me trying to SHOW not tell (shout out to my 5th grade teacher), but you get the idea.)
Now this vision, my DREAM, cannot become reality. (Not that it would anyways because I am never frolicking in an enchanted forest, but now it definitely can't happen). This non-buyers remorse is taking over my brain like a middle schooler's crush on Justin Bieber's hair in 2010.
You know when a piece of clothing just brings you so much joy, even just to look at?
That's what the blue cardigan is for me, but it also brings me the pain of remembering the green sweater that got away.
This is SUCH a first world problem, but stupidly enough, not buying that sweater is probably the single-most biggest regret of my life. I'm not kidding. I rarely have regrets, and if I do, I don't think about it for months on end. This is different. This is a dream that could have come true but didn't because I was stupid and chose not to buy that green sweater.
Me talking to the sweater that got away:
Thank you Adele, you legend.
I will forever remember the sweater that got away.
So, I'm reading this a week later after I wrote it, and wow, I am so dramatic. I'm here to tell you that things do get better. No, I did not find the green sweater, but it eventually stopped taking over all of my thoughts. Things take time to get over.
"They say that time is supposed to heal you, but I haven't done much healing." - Adele (Hello)
I have had MANY other times where I regret not buying something, for example: this sparkly beanie at Marshalls, a mesh long sleeve with sequins from a thrift store, wide leg jeans that were a killer deal, and many, many more.
Have you ever not bought something and then regretted it for the rest of your life? Comment below.
P.S. If you ever find this sweater anywhere please contact me and send it my way; I would be forever thankful.
So...
I'm reading this AGAIN a month later. WOW. Materialism.
Don't put so much value in belongings because they can go away. And
"All i have is myself at the end of the day." - Olivia Rodrigo
The difference is that she wants love and I just want a sweater.
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